What’s Bothering Me Today: Historical Ignorance

Open and F'ing BookThis one will be relatively short.  It started with the following post on Facebook:

This pizza bagel is making me scream like a Salem witch

Now I would hope that my average reader has something more than a preschool education and I wouldn’t have to explain why this use of an historical event in this analogy makes no fucking sense.  But because my average reader is American, and let’s face it, most Americans have a propensity to believe in conspiracy theories along with cockamamie religious and political arguments and have encyclopedic knowledge in the super important area of sports scores only, I will explain:

The Salem witches WERE HANGED, not burnt at the stake… so equating the spiciness of a pizza bagel to a fact that isn’t even remotely true and thus not applicable makes you look two things:

  • STUPID AS FUCKING SHIT, and
  • A POOR CHOOSER OF FOODS
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